Facing Overthinking and Unworthiness in the Eye

 

Journal Entry 11/13/23

 

Dear Me,

 

Hey there, beautiful soul. I hope this entry finds you wrapped in the warmth of self-love and a comforting cup of coffee that brings joy. It’s my internal warm morning hug.

 

Let's start by saying it loud and clear: I love you. No, seriously, I do. And not just the polished, put-together version of you that the world sees, but every messy, imperfect, glorious piece of you. You are a masterpiece in progress, a canvas painted with the colors of experience, and damn, it's a work of art.

Today, I want to dive into the whirlwind of thoughts that are dancing around in your head. It's like a carnival up there, isn't it? But guess what? It's okay. We're here to make sense of it, to untangle the threads that weave through the tapestry of your mind.

So, some days are like a rollercoaster, and you find yourself spinning. It's wild, I know. But here's the revelation: it's okay not to have all the answers. It's okay to feel triggered, to acknowledge the hurt, and to let it have its moment in the spotlight. Because guess what? That hurt is the birthplace of healing. You're like a phoenix rising from the ashes of your own doubts.

Let's talk about trust, my dear. Trusting yourself, trusting your decisions – it's a journey, not a destination. You've got this habit of second-guessing, of overthinking. But what if I told you that in those moments of doubt, you're laying the groundwork for something beautiful? It's like baking a cake; sometimes, you need to sift through the flour to get to the sweetness.

Remember that time you doubted if you could get enough clients, and things didn't go exactly as planned? Well, surprise! Life had other plans, better plans. It's not always about the immediate outcome; it's about the process, the foundation. Life is an exquisite dance, and sometimes you need to step on a few toes to find your rhythm.

Desperation, my friend, is just a sign that you're craving change, growth, a shift. It's not about doing the same things over and over; it's about recognizing the cracks in the pavement and understanding that they're there to show you the way forward. Embrace life; that's the ultimate goal, isn't it?

And what if, just what if, life falling apart is not a catastrophe but a carefully orchestrated prelude to the next chapter? Trust that everything happening around you is molding you, preparing you for greatness. You are safe. You are equipped to handle whatever comes your way. Loss, pain, they're part of the curriculum of life, teaching you resilience and strength.

Let go of the survival mentality, my love. You're not on an island of struggle; you're on the island of your dreams. The one you worked so tirelessly to reach. Now, take a breath and soak it in. You deserve every bit of this. Appreciate it. Feel worthy. Stop the self-inflicted beatdown. You've fought hard enough; now, let's revel in the victory. Say goodbye to survivor island.

It's absurd, isn't it? We've been chasing a dream that's been right here, silently waiting for us to notice. You've worked your whole life for this, and here it is, staring back at you. It's time to stop fighting and start embracing. You're not searching for something that's missing; you're discovering the beauty in what's been here all along.

So, my dear, here's to trust, to embracing the chaos, and to realizing that the journey is just as important as the destination. You're doing great. Keep dancing through this beautiful, messy, extraordinary life.

 

With love and laughter,

You.