The Nagging belief of Unworthiness

-

 

Dear Me,

As I gaze at our reflection in the mirror today, I'm struck by the enduring desire we've always held—to be uniquely and unapologetically ourselves. We've consistently chosen the path less traveled, forging our own way even when it meant going against the grain. There's a certain exhilaration in being courageous enough to stand out, to articulate the unsaid with both grace and love.

But there's a part of us that still lingers in the shadows, hesitant to emerge fully. I find myself wondering about the roots of that fear, and as I reflect, I see threads of it woven into the tapestry of our past. Growing up in a home marked by domestic violence, we learned the art of invisibility—stay silent, don't draw attention. Being a Native American brought its own set of lessons, teaching us to shy away from the spotlight for fear of danger, even death.

 Childhood beatings and the echoes of being told that children should neither be seen nor heard added another layer to this complex narrative. Even with academic achievements, the message persisted that we didn't write well or speak properly. Yet, here we are, having penned published theses, dissertations, and countless curricula. The contradiction between our accomplishments and the lingering self-doubt reveals a negative energetic pattern within us.

This pattern, deeply ingrained, associates being seen with the old fears of abuse and harm. But today, let's acknowledge that those circumstances are no longer our reality. It's time to reclaim our birthright—to fully shine. My name, Atoya, meaning Indian princess, and my Native name, Bright Star, affirm that I was not meant to hide; I was meant to shine. I am safe, secure, and endowed with extraordinary gifts meant to be shared with the world.

Beneath this pattern lies the lingering belief of unworthiness, rearing its head whenever we approach the threshold of our capabilities. Today, we rewrite this narrative. We recognize that unworthiness is entwined with the same negative energetic pattern, and as we dismantle one, we address the other.

Today, let's stand tall, embracing the truth that being seen is not a threat but a celebration of our unique brilliance. It's time to liberate ourselves from the shackles of the past, embracing the fullness of who we are—worthy, radiant, and ready to share our gifts with the world.

With love and unwavering support,

You

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Facing the Rage Within

-
 Today marks a pivotal moment in my journey. I stand at the precipice, facing the rage that has been simmering within me. It's time to confront it head-on. This rage, it's about me. It's about feeling like I should be further along, like I've endured so much and yet still find myself grappling with life. I'm tired of feeling unworthy, bored, and stuck in a cycle of misery despite the abundance of good around me. I'm enraged by my own expectations, by the relentless feeling of failure and the constant questioning of my worth. It's infuriating to sit in this place of stagnation, to play small and be the victim when deep down, I know there's a version of me ready to break free, ready to shine. Playing small may have offered a sense of control, but it's suffocating me. The version of me that's ready to go all in, to embrace my gifts and strengths, is pushing to the surface. She's done with waiting for the perfect moment, for everything to fall in...
Read more

What are you hungry for?

-
  Dear Me, Do you ever just ask yourself what you are hungry for? It's a question that often gets lost in the shuffle of daily life. We move through our days with gratitude, acknowledging the blessings we have, yet there's this persistent yearning deep within us. It's a hunger, a craving for something more. Sometimes it's as simple as a hug or a heartfelt "I love you," but more often than not, it's a deeper need that we struggle to identify. As we reflect on our journey, we may come to realize that our needs were often neglected in our formative years. We learned to prioritize the needs of others above our own, becoming proficient caretakers but forgetting how to care for ourselves. It's no wonder we find ourselves unsure of how to tap into our own needs now. Instead of addressing our hunger with mindfulness and intention, we often seek temporary fixes - indulging in food, drink, shopping, or overworking. These distractions may momentarily fill t...
Read more

Tired of the Fight: Finding Freedom in Self-Love

-
Dear Me, If I could be brutally honest with you, I'd say this: I'm tired. Truly, deeply exhausted. It's like my soul itself is weary, worn out from the constant battles, the endless cycles of giving everything I have only to watch it all crash down, forcing me to pick up the pieces and start over again. I'm just tired, you know? Tired of the fight. Tired of waking up every day and chasing after survival like it's some elusive prey. But then, in the midst of this exhaustion, it hits me like a thunderbolt: what I'm really craving, what I truly desire above all else, is freedom. I long for ease, for that elusive break that never seems to come. I feel like I'm wandering in the wilderness, just like the Israelites did after leaving Egypt. When will I finally reach my promised land? And yet, even when they reached it, they had to fight tooth and nail just to hold onto it. And then, in a moment of clarity, it dawns on me: my prison isn't some external force hol...
Read more