Letters to My Future Self

  Good morning, beautiful soul,   Oh, what a night it was. A rendezvous with sickness, an unexpected dance with an allergic reaction to medication. It's funny how life throws these curveballs, isn't it? But let me tell you, even in the midst of discomfort, there's a silver lining.   As I lay there, grappling with the aftermath of that allergic episode, something profound happened. It was like a cosmic alignment, an invitation to confront my own shadow. Now, I've been knee-deep in inner child healing and shadow work lately, but this was a whole new level.   Picture this: me, on the couch, feeling miserable, and there it was—the shadow. That sneaky, elusive part of me that usually lurks in the background, deciding to make an appearance when I'm at my lowest. Talk about bad timing, right? But that's the thing about shadows; they don't care about our convenience.   I found myself angry, frustrated—how dare this shadow show up when I'm down an

  Dear Remarkable Soul,   Today, I want to share a story that has shaped the very core of who I am—an untold chapter of resilience, love, and the unwavering strength that exists within us.   Picture this: a house filled with echoes of pain, where safety was a distant dream. Growing up, I lived in the shadows of domestic violence, a silent witness to the struggles of my beautiful mother. For seven long years, she bore the weight of physical and verbal abuse at the hands of a man whose charisma belied the darkness within. My stepfather, towering at 6 feet and 260 pounds, cast a menacing shadow over our lives.   Our home became a battlefield, and unpredictability was its cruel commander. Friends were kept at arm's length, and the sanctuary of a peaceful evening was a luxury we never knew. One haunting day, I returned from school to find our world shattered—furniture tossed out of windows, the house demolished, and my mother, the epitome of beauty, bearing the scars of a br

  Hello Beautiful Self,   Oh, what a wild ride today has been! Buckle up because I've got a story for you. So, picture this: I'm cruising through life, thinking I've got it all figured out, when BAM! Reality check, my friend. Today was all about growth and a generous sprinkle of humility.   You know, I've always been that "I got this" kind of person. If there was a problem, I'd tackle it solo, like a lone ranger armed with determination and a touch of stubbornness. But a few weeks ago, the universe decided to send me a wake-up call disguised as a heart-tugging conversation. It was like my soul whispered, "Hey, buddy, maybe it's time to ask for some help."   Now, here's the kicker—I hesitated. Why? Well, there's this tiny, pesky thing called pride, and it made me question what asking for help would look like. I mean, come on, I was practically raised with the mantra, "Thou shall not ask for assistance unless the world

  Dear Me,   Thank you for loving me through thick and thin, through the highs and the lows. Today, as I sit down to pour my heart out in our journal, I find myself emerging from the pile of challenges that have surrounded me in the past few days. It's like I've been navigating through a season of fall in my life, where things are shedding, and change is inevitable.   Oh, the frustration of feeling stuck! It's like trying to climb out of quicksand, isn't it? But here's the thing - I've come to realize that this frustration, this sense of being stuck, is just a precursor to propelling me into the next phase of my journey. It's a bit like the game of Pac-Man I used to play as a child – I can't jump to level 10 without mastering levels 1-9. Life, it seems, is a series of levels to be conquered.   Sure, there are days when I feel a pang of sadness as things I've worked hard to build seem to crumble. It's like watching leaves fall off the

 My Dearest Self, What a sight we are today! A reflection of peace, strength slowly making its grand comeback. As we navigate through the healing process, I can't help but overflow with love and appreciation for the journey we're on. Gratitude has become our daily companion, hasn't it? Today, I find myself basking in the glory of both the grand and the minuscule. Those beautiful everyday moments that sneak in, making us smile, bringing a serene peace to our chaotic world. It's as if the universe is whispering, "Hey, you've got this." Even the challenges and tearful moments have their own special place in my heart. They've molded us, tested our resilience, and heck, sometimes even brought a sassy tear to our eyes. But here we are, standing strong. Let's not forget the incredible people who've shaped our journey. Past or present, family and friends who wrap us in unconditional love, those little humans whose laughter is like music for the soul. A

  Hey Beautiful Soul,   Today, as I stare into the mirror, I'm dishing out gratitude like confetti on Thanksgiving day. Buckle up because we're taking a journey into the depths of my Native American roots, mixed emotions, and a sprinkle of unexpected twists.   Thanksgiving – the day of thanks, right? Well, not for everyone. For many Native Americans, it's more like a harsh reminder of genocide, colonialism, and oppression. Smallpox blankets, Christianity, land grabs – it's a historical cocktail that's hard to swallow. But hey, I've decided to turn this day around, to honor my ancestors and spread some love.   For the past 8 days, I've been on a love bender, reaching out to the people who make my heart do the happy dance. The love I get in return fills up my family and relationship bucket, and let me tell you, it's overflowing with good vibes.   Today didn't go as planned, though. The grand idea was to volunteer, spread joy to those wh

  Dear Incredible Soul,   Today's entry is like a dope slap from your Angels – a reflection on the journey of dependence, frustration, growth, and a sprinkle of humor because, let's face it, life can be a bit of a comedy.   Let's start with gratitude. Your journey has been a rollercoaster, and here you are, expressing frustration. It's okay to feel it, acknowledge it, and then wrap it in a warm blanket of gratitude. Your amazing husband, the one who fills your days with love – what a blessing! The past six years have been a symphony of growth, and you credit him rightly for the melody.   Now, let's talk about the independent you. She's disoriented, confused, maybe even screaming a bit. That version of you loved the self-sufficiency dance, and now it's like she's in a new choreography. It's a different tune, but maybe, just maybe, it's a dance worth learning.   Looking back, you realize your foundation felt a bit shaky, a fear of o

  Dear Me, As I gaze at our reflection in the mirror today, I'm struck by the enduring desire we've always held—to be uniquely and unapologetically ourselves. We've consistently chosen the path less traveled, forging our own way even when it meant going against the grain. There's a certain exhilaration in being courageous enough to stand out, to articulate the unsaid with both grace and love. But there's a part of us that still lingers in the shadows, hesitant to emerge fully. I find myself wondering about the roots of that fear, and as I reflect, I see threads of it woven into the tapestry of our past. Growing up in a home marked by domestic violence, we learned the art of invisibility—stay silent, don't draw attention. Being a Native American brought its own set of lessons, teaching us to shy away from the spotlight for fear of danger, even death.   Childhood beatings and the echoes of being told that children should neither be seen nor heard added anoth

  Hello Beautiful Soul,   Today feels like a canvas waiting to be painted with the vibrant hues of your intentions and the strokes of your actions. As you open your eyes to this brand new day, let the excitement bubble up within you, a natural elixir for the soul. You've been starting your mornings with a question to your own soul, asking what can be done today to bring joy and how you can serve your own essence. It's a beautiful ritual, a conversation between you and the universe within. Lately, you've been grappling with motivation, and the struggle seems real. The culprit? Boredom and a perceived lack of progress in the external world. We all crave that sense of fulfillment and productivity. It's like waking up and feeling the heartbeat of purpose pulsing through your veins. Yesterday, as you rested and recuperated from being under the weather, a TV moment dropped a truth bomb: doing nothing is the hardest job in the world. How often do we find ourselves ad

 Dear Me, Oh, would you look at that—sitting on the back porch, having a heart-to-heart with yourself. Now that's what I call a self-love session. Confronting those patterns within? Bravo! It's like emotional spring cleaning, and you're the fearless organizer of your own soul. Let's give a standing ovation to the past you—the survival warrior. She's like a Marvel superhero, tackling life head-on. Survival mode served its purpose, but guess what? You're not in a constant battle anymore. It's time to appreciate her for the beast she was and let her take a nap. Rest up, warrior—you've earned it. And your hubby, the voice of reason and your personal life coach. Seeing opportunities around you, eh? You're not chasing them like a bulldozer? Well, that's because you're not in a hurry anymore. You're evolving into a thriving ninja, choosing curiosity over fear. No need for self-imposed deadlines and fears. Your purpose? Legacy, education, and emp

  Dear Me, As I sit here on the back porch of the sanctuary I now call home, sipping on a cup of soul-warming coffee, enveloped in the soothing embrace of reggae music, I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Grateful for the person looking back at me in the mirror, a person I've come to be genuinely proud of over this past transformative year. This year, I made a conscious effort to observe myself without the harsh lens of judgment. Judgment, I realized, was my signal that I had stumbled upon a trigger—an opportunity for self-discovery. Instead of condemning myself, I chose curiosity. I delved into the why behind these triggers and uncovered a tapestry woven with threads of self-abuse, rejection, resentment, guilt, and unworthiness. It was a daunting revelation, but one that I faced head-on. In the chaos of negative emotions, I learned the art of pause. Life, I discovered, unfolds more effortlessly when we heed the warning signs and allow ourselves redi

  Dear Me, beautiful soul Today hit differently, didn't it? I watched a video forward to me that felt like a raw whisper to my heart, a gentle reminder of the wounds that sometimes linger in the shadows. It said something that echoed The reason you self-isolate when your struggle or upset because you were left alone as a child to deal with your emotions …. So basically through the chambers of my past: self-isolation stems from the echoes of solitude in childhood. Ouch. That one cut deep. In this journey of healing, I've become a detective of sorts, tracing the negative energy patterns and toxic thoughts that used to sneak into my life. And I've become quite the expert at breaking them, at least when I catch them in the act.   But today, oh today, I saw the pattern unfold before my eyes. The retreat into solitude, the desire to be left alone – it felt like a cocoon of self-reflection, a cocoon I believed was essential for self-care. To pause, to listen to the symphon

 Dear Me, Well, here I am, back in the hospital—a place that holds echoes of the past, a mix of heavy and light memories. Last time around, it was with Dad, facing stage 4 cancer like an uninvited guest crashing the party of life. To say those words hit hard is an understatement. Inside, I wanted to crumble, but outside, I had to keep up the facade. It's funny how my insides rarely matched the polished exterior. Life, my dear, is a quirky house of cards. Walk in, everything's Pinterest-worthy. Open a drawer, and chaos spills out like confetti. I've always liked to think of it as the 'Drawer Dilemma'—everything might look amazing until you dare to open that one drawer. Yet, as I sit here, I find myself reminiscing about Dad. His journey was a rollercoaster of resilience. When hit with the news, he didn't flinch. Instead, he thanked the universe for the heads up. Who does that? How could he be so darn confident when the world seemed to be playing Jenga with his li

 Hello, Beautiful Soul, and Good morning Gorgeous,  Lookin Good Girl. I see ya! I mean look at us, standing here in this mirror, ready to conquer the world with a smile that says, "I am enough, just as I am." It's like a rendezvous with destiny, and damn, we make quite the dynamic duo. You know, I've spent countless moments resenting you, despising the quirks and imperfections that make you uniquely you. There were times when I couldn't bear to witness our reflection, as if the mirror held a distorted version of a stranger. It was a blank canvas of unknown possibilities, and little did I know, that darkness was the canvas upon which we'd paint our breakthrough. The journey to self-love has been a rollercoaster, hasn't it? From the depths of numbness to the heights of embracing every inch of our being. It took hitting rock bottom to realize there was only one way to go—up, up, and up. And here we stand, testament to the fact that we can overcome anything li

  Journal Entry 11/13/23   Dear Me,   Hey there, beautiful soul. I hope this entry finds you wrapped in the warmth of self-love and a comforting cup of coffee that brings joy. It’s my internal warm morning hug.   Let's start by saying it loud and clear: I love you. No, seriously, I do. And not just the polished, put-together version of you that the world sees, but every messy, imperfect, glorious piece of you. You are a masterpiece in progress, a canvas painted with the colors of experience, and damn, it's a work of art. Today, I want to dive into the whirlwind of thoughts that are dancing around in your head. It's like a carnival up there, isn't it? But guess what? It's okay. We're here to make sense of it, to untangle the threads that weave through the tapestry of your mind. So, some days are like a rollercoaster, and you find yourself spinning. It's wild, I know. But here's the revelation: it's okay not to have all the answers. It&

Hey You, As I gaze into the mirror, I can't help but marvel at the radiant joy, peace, and happiness that beams back at me after half a century of living. It's a moment of profound connection with the person who has weathered storms, demonstrated resilience, and showcased an unyielding determination. I find myself asking, "How on earth are you still standing?" You've faced challenges that have shattered others, yet here you are, standing tall with a badge of honor, a testament to your unwavering strength. I appreciate the journey you've taken, the hurdles you've overcome, and the masks you've worn. There were times when you believed those masks were the key to happiness and success. The constant decision of which mask to wear for each person, the exhausting effort to fit into expectations—no wonder it left you weary. The outer world, as you rightly point out, mirrors the chaos within. But now, you've shed those masks and stand in front of the m

Set Yourself Free: Breaking free from the internal prison.  "Embracing My Journey: From Prison to Prosperity" As I sit here, preparing my prosperity manual for a class, I find myself reflecting on the beauty of trusting oneself. Since my return from prison, I've been on a mission to prove that I've changed, that I'm no longer the person I once was. It's been a journey of self-discovery, a path marked by challenges and setbacks. Yet, deep down, I've always felt safe, knowing that this time, I'm different. I've learned to stay true to myself, to embrace my core values, and to base every decision on my happiness, peace, and purpose. No longer do I compare myself to the person I used to be. Instead, I focus on my strengths, acknowledge my weaknesses, and find ways to turn those weaknesses into strengths. I've stopped letting stress, fear, worry, and desperation dictate my choices. Over the past four years, I've painstakingly built a foundation

  Selling Your Soul for the Chase of Money It's time we had a heart-to-heart conversation about the relentless pursuit of money that seems to engulf our lives. Society bombards us with the idea that success is synonymous with wealth, and we often find ourselves on a never-ending quest to accumulate more and more of it. But, let me ask you, is that truly the essence of life?   They say some people would sell their souls to the devil for money, and ironically, the world daily teaches us to do just that. We're conditioned to believe that success hinges on our ability to work tirelessly, striving for an ever-increasing bank balance. Sure, we're told success means more than just money, but do we really chase happiness, joy, harmony, and peace with the same fervor? Do we place those pursuits at the core of our existence?   No, we don't. Instead, we've built our entire lives around the pursuit of money, thinking it's the key to unlocking the doors to a more fulfilled e